connie y replied: "i do not know what kind of doctor you are seeing, but in my personal opinion, you need to see a psychiatrist. this is the person that can help you very quickly. otherwise, you are just a guinea pig until one day a medication actually does work. with all that you have going on, you are suffering from much more than mere depression or ocd or anxiety. you appear to me to have signs of one overall mental disorder that covers everything that you are experiencing. all the things that you say are components or side effects of a more major problem. i do not think that you are psychotic because i do not believe you would be looking for rational things to do to help yourself. psychotic people are not rational. however, i do feel that you are experiencing the first signs that you will become psychotic if you have to go through this process for 17 years, as i have. i have so many disorders- side effects, it is impossible to ever think my life would come back together. i have been on the right medication for a little over two years. i stay in therapy that helps me with everyday problems and helps me to understand my strengths, instead of my mental disorder. i have read for many months on my disorders so that i can understand what this process of being healthy is going to require from me. i now know to never stop my medications without my doctors help. i had a severe nervous breakdown. you do not want this to happen to you, so you really have to try very hard to be more patient. this takes time. this is your brain that is being altered and certain medications can cause you to kill yourself or someone else. this is no joke. i have been through it all.
i am not a doctor, but you sound as if you aught to be on something called LAMICTAL. this is the best pill i ever took. i have bipolar-schizoaffective disorder. i had every thing that you mentioned plus....voices in my head telling me to kill me. telling me how useless i was. telling me i cant get better etc. terrible when your own self dont like you. all the irrational thinking. irrational behavior. wanting to just lay down and die. if you hear voices in addition to what you have said thus far, i would say you would seriously benefit from a medication called ABILIFY. this has been a lifesaver. remember, i tried various different medications for 17 years. i went to see a psychiatrist after my doctor diagnosed me with this overall mental illness and he was in agreeance completely. he told me that i have ocd, neurosis (anxiety disorder), pts, depression, personality disorder, mood disorder, and so on. all these things were merely symptoms of the overall diagnosis. i have been wonderfully normal (better than ever in my life) for over 2 years.
my medications are...LAMICTAL it is for bipolar -- extremes of mood. euphoric or depressed. symptoms are (manic) elevated mood,grandiosity-inflated self esteem,irritability, anger,insomnia, anorexia,flights of ideas, racing thoughts,distractability,hyperactivity,doing pleasurable things, loud rapid speech, talkative,high energy, increased interest in sex, high rate of suicide, labile mood(unstable or readily changeable mood), delusions, hallucinations, depressed mood, low self-esteem. (depressed) withdrawal, passivity, insomnia, daytime sleepiness, anorexia, sluggish thinking, difficulty concentrating, distractability, inertia, diminished interest in activities, innapropriate or excessive guilt, decrease in speech, fatigue, decreased interest in sex, high rate of suicide, memory loss, abnormal thoughts about death, and weight loss.
schizoaffective disorder is characterized by both affective(mood disorder) and schizophrenia(thought disorder) with substantial loss of occupational and social functioning. hybrid of two disorders. affective disorders cause people to be extremely depressed or elated, and schizophrenia is expressed as positive, negative, or disorganized thinking. disrupts perceptions, thinking, feelings, and behaviors. it causes distorions of reality, false beliefs, hallucinations, and changes in speech patterns, moods and behaviors. it disrupts the pesons ability to function, socialize, and work.
this is what i can share with you about me and what i know of myself.
celexa is just an antidepressant for major depressive disorder. investigational uses are panic disorder, social phobia, ocd in adolescents. this does not sound like a very useful drug unless you are only being treared for depression and i know that you are not merely depressed if everything you say is so. i would stop pissing around and get in to see a HEAD-BRAIN doctor. russian roulette is being played with your life. it is impossible for you to be merely depressed with all your symptoms! i seriously suggest you get a real serious healthcare provider as fast as you can. you have a long road ahead of you. at this rate, you wont make it. you need more than what is happening for you. i understand that your doctor may be trying to reduce the depression to see what other things come up or still remain, but you are far better off going straight to a doctor who only works with the brain. you cannot function without a brain and this is why people that have these things kill themselves. there own brain tells one to or your feelings tell you to. dont listen to one negative persons crap out there. i understand totally why you are searching so hard. you must be very lost, confused, and scared."
Are "suicidal thoughts" with no REAL know intention dangerous? Lately I've been experiencing these..."bad thoughts" (I call them). I imagine myself swallowing all my pills, drowning myself in the bathtub, cutting myself, or hanging myself from the stairs outside (worst thought yet).
I'm not actually planning or intending to do any of these things, but....they keep popping up in my mind. They're like these annoying, morbid thoughts, and obviously, I'd like them to stop.
Yes, I'm batteling depression/anxiety, etc. and I'm in counseling. We recently just upped my dose of Citalopram from 20-30mg. I haven't mentioned these thoughts, because I don't want my counselor to think I'm suicidal when....I'm not REALLY.
Anybody else had these "bad thoughts" with no real intent????